I love The Lord!!
 I have been a born again Christian for over a year now, although I have felt Him tugging at my heart strings and whispering to me for years.  I mean, I have always believed in God and have "known about" Jesus; but I have never known Jesus intimately as I do now.  You see, I was a single mom of two beautiful daughters and worked a part-time job.  It was hard. I wanted to find the right man for me, but always failed.  I would end up being dumped time and time again and still thought to my self, "I am going to find him this time, this will be the one".  As time went by, I became addicted to drugs and just sort of cut off the world outside.  I would pray and ask for strength to get my self together, but to no avail.  I was so weak.  I thought that was the way my life was suppose to be, so I accepted it.  Satan had control over me and I was too weak to fight it. Until the Easter week of 2004.  That week I got the movie, The Passion of The Christ from a friend of mine.  I made every excuse not to watch that movie.  The Lord was tugging at my heart everyday that week.  With each passing day, the tugging got more and more frequent until that Easter Sunday,  I couldn't take it anymore.  I raised my hands and said outsold, "Ok, Father, I'll put in the movie"!:)  Where did that come from?  How did I know it was Him?  I don't know.  All I know is, I knew.  While watching that movie, something happened to me.  I saw with my own eyes what Jesus went through; it broke my heart.  I cried hard and prayed to myself, "Lord, I'm so sorry that you went through that for me.  I'm sorry that my sins made you go through that much pain.  Thank you.  I love you. Please, Please forgive me".  I didn't know at the time that I was praying the sinners prayer, I didn't know anything about salvation or being born again.  All I know is that I felt a cool sensation from the top of my head, sort of like a water hose went off inside of me.  And I was changed.  I felt different.  I could see things differently.  I felt so thirsty for my Bible, I read it everyday.  I wanted to know everything about The Lord.  Needless to say, the guy I was seeing at that time left me.  I got down on my hands and knees and talked to The Lord, "I'm done, Lord!  I can't do it on my own, I need you!  Whoever you want me to have I will take him and I will not lay with another man until you send the one You want me to have.  I put it in your hands". You know what?  He heard me.  He has blessed me.  I am happy to say that one year later, I am married, moved to a different town, got off drugs, am a better mom, both of my daughters are born again, and I am telling everyone I can about the loving salvation through Jesus Christ.  I love Him.  He saved me from the pit that Satan had me in.  You see, I put my life in His hands. He has control over my life, not me.  I can do all things through Christ!  He is inside of me.  He is my strength, my Savior, My Lord!  He is always here with me.

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Continued...on 8-18-05

I Love the Lord!! 
 As I look back and reflect on my spiritual growth, I am in awe.  Not so much on any particular situation, but on how much The Holy Spirit has taught me.  He has opened my spiritual eyes so much; I love serving the Lord.  Although, now I know what it means to have our spiritual eyes shut because I try to share the gospel with unsaved family and friends and they just cannot see, comprehend, or understand what I am talking about.  They just don't care.  It breaks my heart. I hope and pray that they can come to know and love The Lord as we do.  Of course, I had to hit rock bottom before I could even take that first step. I guess that's why one of my favorite teachings in the Bible is about the prodical son. I can recall the very moment I "came to myself".  My life wasn't a good story, as a matter of fact, it was a horrible story. But one that needed to be told.  I would never change a thing about my life now.  I completely and totally trust in My Lord; I love Him so much that my heart aches because I'm not with Him (I know that might sound a little weird, but it is totally true).  It has been heart-wrenching to try and speak to people about Our Lord; most don't want to hear about it.  Here is what it comes down to: My relationship with some of my family members is estranged, I get teased and talked about, I get attacked (spiritually), sometimes during this spiritual race I trip and fall, and some people think I have totally gone off the deep end "in all of this Jesus talk". But you know what, I still hold tight to my Lord even when it feels like I'm just barely grasping a piece of thread on His robe.  I won't let go. This is spiritual warfare that we are in, brothers and sisters, and I feel very humbled to have been called to be one of The Lord's soldiers.  May the Lord bless each and every one of you.  In Christ's love.